Recent thoughts on my list of can & cant

Recently the works got me drifted away from life and relationships to the point that I felt a bit exhausted, mentally mostly. I am still trying out different workflows and combinations of molecular modelling packages, which eventually leads to tons of works with file parsings and codes that I had no idea what it means … I guess it’s nice that I’m (partially) allowed to do works that I fond of, but as it got more IT-ish, I became more self-doubted.

In the first week into the job, my supervisor asked me to write a list of what I can do, what I cannot do & what I want to while I’m working here. My naive self wanted to learn molecular dynamics (MD) on the job, but I soon realize I still have a long way to go. It’d become my habit trying to grasp the ideas real quick and then look out for reasonable solutions since my time at KyotoU. It’s difficult not to feel sad whenever those memories swirling up, but I guess I made the best out of it. It’s just that I’m a very impressionable person and I think I already had peer pressure here lol.

However bad that might seem, I guess it’s best to start to reevaluate my priorities and choices on stuffs I’m interested in. There are certain things that I want to try in this first year. Math is definitely one of them, so I want to start fresh on a branch that might not require a lot of prerequisites (like calculus or algebra). I plan to read “A concise introduction to pure mathematics” if that is helpful at all. Second might be how to make book’s hard covers as a handcraft hobby I can practice in the weekend. Gotta build a desk and a book shelf, and I am super excited to have my book/reading corner at home. Next, I actually wanted to come back to Kyuudo (弓道) this year but I have to postpone it a bit longer… since I want to spend more time finishing my publications and PhD thesis. My last publication might be something relates to AI/ML so that I have to put more efforts into it. Last thing is that I have to get a driver license and a car as soon as possible.

So to summarize everything up, here is the list:

• Math reading
• Hardcover making/Leathering
• Generative models
• Driver License